So You Think You Can Be an Eagle Scout

(An open letter to parents of future Eagle Scouts)

When President John F. Kennedy said "... we do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard." he was referring to our plan, as a nation, to have a man walk on the moon. But he might as well have been referrring to working toward the rank of Eagle scout.

When a scout reaches the point where he sets his mind to starting his Eagle project, he must face challenges and difficulties of undertaking a project involving planning, time and people management and, most likely, skills that he had never before faced. In my experience, this learning curve is adapted to very quickly by the boy, but his parents are often confused and uninformed about the process. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Should the parent be in the loop at all? That depends on the parent. It is important for both the scout and his parent to understand that achieving Eagle is all about the boy. A supporting parent is all important, but there needs to be a clear understanding what "support" means. If the boy does not drive, obviously getting him to and from meetings, to the place(s) for project supplies, helping to bake brownies for his bake sale and urging him to continue when he gets frustrated are the right kinds of support. It's OK to help out with the physical labor of the project as long as you don't take the reigns of leadership form the boy. After all, the point of Eagle project is Leadership. Take that away, and you've taken away the most important lesson he will learn from his project. Offer advice, but don't solve his problems. Guide him through, if needed, by asking questions that will lead him to figure it out. Most importantly, do not try to find ways to make it easier or to do things the way you, as an adult, might do things. The Eagle project is a gateway to a future of solving problems and learning that most projects, of any kind, generally cost twice as much and take four times as long as we expect. If you own a home, you probably have learned that. Your son has not, but now he has a chance. Let him struggle through and learn the joys of working through a tough problem and emerging victorious. At his Eagle Court of Honor, when he says" I couldn't have done it without the help of my parents", that should mean you gave him the love and support he needed and not that you built his project for him. Achieving the rank of Eagle is hard. it's supposed to be!